January 20, 2025
Breaking patterns is hard— while acknowledging the "problem" is important, simply being aware of it doesn't remove it. It's fairly well-known science that we have a biological predeposition to being stuck in routine, even if it's not good for us, and that's before you get into the things that make the struggle that much harder, such as ADHD.
My very attention-deficit brain resolved to make some changes and stay on track of certain things earlier this year, as part of my New Years Resolution. Among other things I wanted to start dieting again, I wanted to exercise, and I wanted to make more active efforts to improve at my art.
The art thing's been going pretty well! I started small and manageable, so as to not turn myself away... 30 minutes of studies a day. About halfway through the month I found that I would continue to draw or do studies even after my timed 30 minutes were done, which is a good sign. Some days it still takes a bit of effort to put that work in, even if it's that little time, but the core of it is that I'm getting it done! I'm forming a new habit for improvement. There's many things I want to pick up and I want to make a serious, palpable effort at improving what I can do this year.
I got back into my exercise schedule too, so things are looking good there! The winter has been a bit too much for me to jog outside right now, but a lightbulb went off in my head as I remembered my old man's treadmill that he never used. Victory is mine again. I'm powerfully in shape now.
Ah, but dieting... I'm a habitual snacker 😅 This has been the hardest. I need to get in the habit of drinking more water to stave that off... I find whenever I feel even remotely hungry I'll dash to the kitchen or even to the convenience store. It's pretty bad! I think "eat less crap" goes hand in hand with "save more money", really. Oops! I think I should rearrange the food in my mouse or hide my car keys or something, maybe that'll get me to think twice, haha...
Either which way, I'm trying to stay on top of these things because I don't want to be pushed into a corner where I have to change in order to live. A chunk of the major changes I've gone through in my life so far were a result of just that; I more or less was pressed to a point where the only way "out" was to push beyond myself, and I got so "tired" of nothing that I started doing something. I'd like to be a little more preemptive about myself— I want to make as many good personal changes as I can now so I'm better prepared for everything ahead of me. So far, I'm making good progress, but I can't get complacent either. GRRGH! I'LL DO GOOD THIS YEAR!!!
In other news, I'm almost finished the Atelier Dusk Trilogy, and ohhh girl, you bet I'll have a whole new journal about that. Everyone stay safe!